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Jimmy Bullard
raring to go |
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Jimmy Bullard is telling the story about the time, on a pre-season trip to
Austria, when Fulham stayed in the same hotel as Real Madrid and he came down to
the bar to find David Beckham and the other galácticos lined up in a fog of expensive
aftershave. Most of the Fulham players were loitering round the edges when Bullard
picked up a mandolin and treated everyone to an impromptu sing-song, starting with
Old McDonald Had A Farm and culminating in a round of applause from the world's
most expensively assembled team.
It is the kind of story that demonstrates Bullard's sense of fun - "I just wanted
to break the ice," he says - and helps to explain why so many people are glad to
see him back from the knee injury that had threatened to wreck his career. Fans
have grown weary of dull players. They want footballers to give them the giggles
as well as get them on their feet. So people tend to like Bullard, with his dishevelled
hair, matchstick legs and boyish grin. You do not have to be a Fulham supporter
to be happy to see him on a pitch for the first time in 16 months.
Bullard estimates he has had around 5,000 letters of support. Many, inevitably,
have come from Fulham fans, some addressed simply to "Bulldog". At least one sackload
originated in Lancashire, from supporters who fondly remember the way he helped
Wigan Athletic's remarkable rise through the league. But others took Bullard completely
by surprise. "They've come from all round the world. I've even had letters from
people in China. People write in, saying, 'I'm a Liverpool fan but I follow you
as well'. It's been unbelievable but it has helped me through the dark times."
Bullard had played only four games for Fulham when he suffered the injury in a freakish
tangle of legs with Scott Parker, then of Newcastle United. "It's still vivid in
my mind," he recalls. "I can remember passing the ball, then the ball came back
and I dangled out my leg. It was a silly position to get myself in. Scott landed
on top of me, my studs were still in the ground and I took all his weight on my
knee. I was in shock at first. Then I heard Collins John shouting out, 'Oh Jesus,
no!' I looked down and my leg was bent at completely the wrong angle. They couldn't
get the oxygen working as they tried to get my kneecap back in place. And then the
pain started. Pain I wouldn't wish on anyone."
His knee was so mangled that John and Parker both vomited on the pitch. "The physios
thought at first it might just be a dislocation but I was in so much pain I always
thought the ligaments were gone. The next day I got up to go to the toilet. I was
trying to wee but, from my knee down, my leg was wobbling all over the place. Splashed
everywhere."
Bullard went to Colorado to see Richard Steadman, the world's leading knee surgeon.
"His first words were, 'That's as bad as I've ever seen'. He said it looked like
a bomb had gone off in my kneecap. You have four main ligaments in your knee and
I'd torn three. Everything had gone awol. But I knew I was getting the best possible
treatment. The doctor said I would play again and that encouraged me to think I'd
get through it.
"I had the first operation in September 2006 and that went fine. The second one
was in December that year and that went fine, too. But, when I thought I should
be getting back, it wasn't right. There was a lot of movement in my knee and, because
my playing style is all about running and twisting, I
did start to worry. It was
in my head, 'Am I ever going to play again?' They were dark times, some really difficult
moments, but I was always focused on getting back. And the physio, Jason Palmer,
has been terrific. He told me to think of it like a slice of bread and that we had
to go crumb by crumb. And that was great advice."
That Bullard is pressing for a place in
Roy Hodgson's starting XI to face Arsenal
today is testament to his dedication and perseverance and the 29-year-old is anxious
to make up for lost time.
"It's that feeling when you're a kid and it's Christmas Eve," he says. "The knee
feels perfect. I've had a few crunching tackles and no problem. Simon Davies hit
me with one in training. And I got one in the reserves. It's all good. Every time
it happens it just gives me more confidence."
He credits his fiancée, Diane, with "keeping me sane" in the worst moments. "From
a football perspective it's been a nightmare, from start to finish. But there has
been plenty going on in my life that feels just awesome too. We've had our first
baby [Archie], so it's been ups and downs all the way."
His golf handicap has suffered from an extended time off the course - Bullard usually
plays off scratch and, according to Colin Montgomerie's coach, Denis Pugh, could
have made it as a pro - but Bullard has at least had time to immerse himself in
fishing. He is affiliated to Dorking Angling Society - "the Manchester United of
the fishing world" - and does a little bit more than find a shady spot on the riverbank,
lean against a tree and gaze dreamily into the water. "We go to all the big matches
and I've won a couple of £800 prizes," he says. "There were 75 top anglers at the
last one and I ended up winning."
Another ended in rather less dignified fashion. "There was a bunch of kids, about
six years old, peppering me with songs on the other side of the bank. I trod on
my pole and went straight in the water headfirst. I managed to crawl out but I had
weed in my hair. All these bloody kids were crying with laughter."
Bullard, you quickly learn, has a string of anecdotes that could have been lifted
straight from the Bash Street Kids. The time, for example, when he emptied a pot
of yoghurt over Mark Crossley's head "because he said he was hot". Or the away trip,
earlier in his career, when he was demonstrating his golf swing in the foyer of
an hotel. "One thing led to another," he recalls. "The clubs came out. First it
was putting. Then it was the full swing. Someone threw a ball at me and I hit it
so sweet. Absolutely creamed it. Smash! It's gone straight through the glass lift
and shattered it from top to bottom. Not my finest moment."
But this is all part of the Jimmy Bullard charm. Ask him to choose the right adjectives
to describe himself and he will reply "hyper" or "joker," and it makes him a popular
figure at Fulham, from the dinner ladies at the training ground to the fans who
will serenade him at Craven Cottage today. "I don't go around thinking, 'Ooh, I'm
the joker, I've got to do something wacky today.' It just happens sometimes. Like
the thing with Crossley. He said he was hot so I thought I would cool him down.
And he loved it. But I wouldn't try that with Brian McBride because I don't want
a right hook.
"I just like to have a bit of fun. I try to have a laugh and I try to play with
a smile on my face. I want to win and I'm serious about my career but football should
be enjoyable and it's good to have a laugh along the way. I've been through a nightmare
but I'm back now and I couldn't be much happier."