Nothing as far as testing goes...Germany over half a million test weekley.
posted by Will (Guest) - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 7:47 AM true Government(or English health were slow out of blocks)but still feel lockdown was correct action,it takes time for this to filter through into hard death figures,am encouraged by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine suggesting social distancing means that number of positve virus cases could be 0.62 against an early estimate of 2.6.These guys are usually very good as they know more about diseases than most,just a pity lockdown was not merged with high test rates as Germany etc.Government must hold it's nerve at least for one more week and just take the flak.
posted by brian longhurst. (Guest) - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 9:25 AM Germany test 100,000 a day Britain test 8,000 a day , wtf !
posted by Paul (Guest) - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 10:08 AM I blame the government when it rains also.
posted by Nick (Guest) - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 10:23 AM

Newcastle and Norwich as well .
posted by Pete (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 8:32 PM Agree John, 750.000+ people risking there lives for no pay & some have paid with their life and there will be more. I'm sure some players & managers are trying to help like PEP G....... I for one will not waste another penny watching football again. Shameful you are being to kind John.
posted by Will (Guest) - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 12:20 AM

Can’t you buy a wiper blade on-line? I am sure Amazon have not shut up shop!! Re the dentist, I read the other day that all non-urgent stuff would be cancelled but all dentists should provide telephone care support to advise people requiring urgent help
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 2:27 PM Are you telling the tooth ?
posted by Dr Phang (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:05 PM Bike shops are allowed to open so I assume Halfords would be a good bet for your wiper blade ;0).

Personally, we buy noin-essential items when we go out to buy staple products like bread, milk, cleaning materials, etc.

Riddle me this, is a pizza considered essential when you buy it in a supermarket and cook it yourself at home but not essential when you have a cooked one delivered :0))))))))))).....?
posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 5:17 PM Pizza is essential full stop!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 5:52 PM e-bay is open.
posted by Will (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 8:08 PM Flapjack, just bolt a golden retriever to your car roof so that it's tail hangs over the windscreen and keep saying walkies. Should do the job.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 9:43 AM At least my local curry house still delivers, so my Saturday's are not a complete disaster. Social distancing is still maintained, pay by card, the driver delivers, rings the door bell and retreats. Bon Appetit.
posted by Curry Eater. (Guest) - Thursday 02nd April 2020, 9:56 AM

Just wondered if anybody else has any April 1st stories?
posted by Simon (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 12:58 PM Remember before I started my apprenticeship as a metal worker, you were the runabout getting items from the stores etc for the men on the bench It was April 1st and one of the guys asked me to get a rubber mallet from the stores. Not realising there was such a thing and knowing it was April fools day I refused to get it. The miserable sod told the foreman - who was even more of a misery - result was a bollocking, at least I knew what a rubber mallet looked like!
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 1:38 PM Similarly, I was the office rookie. Came back from lunch to find a note on my desk asking me to contact Mr Lyon - of course they had given me the number for the zoo!! Fell for it like many others that followed
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 2:01 PM John have you ever seen the inbetweeners where they do the same thing? They ask for spirit level bubbles and tartan paint.
posted by David (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 2:17 PM Does anybody remember Alex aka The Traveller? He would never say the word “Chelsea” but referred to them as “the filth.” (Eg. Chelsea Bridge was Filth Bridge.) My better half worked with him in MOD - one April fools day the wags in the office concocted a spoof crossword clue, “type of currant bun flavoured with lemon peel and mixed spices.” The bogus clue was offered to the office. Caught unawares, The Trav responded “Chelsea Bun.” Gotcha Trav!
posted by Simon (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:12 PM Good story Simon, I knew Fergie from the tbt days back in the 1970s , top fella always ready to help you out , rip Al .
posted by Ian (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:18 PM Also remembered being sent to the other end of the factory to get a left handed screwdriver, when you found the guy he said another bloke who worked in an adjoining building had borrowed it and so it went on
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 4:23 PM Knew Alex well, over the years with TBT,the trips to Helmond, Gibraltar 75,car to Horsham,via the local brewery,he once fell asleep round my old house,opposite the old Elm Park,with the cat on his lap,it was the only pussy he got all season!!!RIP fella,thanks for the memories.
posted by Pete Mackay (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 6:00 PM

We offloaded Sessegnon [tricky to spell] to Spurs. He is not a great player never was just useful that is all.
posted by tony (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 12:32 PM Never saw Sessegnon as a defender more a winger .usefull not great about right nice lad seems so far we got best of Spurs deal well done Khans
posted by Big Red (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 1:50 PM

a friend works for the club and he reckons that the contractors have been there (or were last week). So looking hopeful on that front
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 12:36 PM Thanks flap
posted by Marbella White 1 - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 12:56 PM Works on the new stand ended monday evening 30th March review to re starting 27th April
posted by KUNYE (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 6:08 PM

The world is now full with me mes and must haves.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:45 PM Whilst most fans and the wider country is furloughed or on reduced wages surely now is the time for the PFA and the players to voluntarily take a cut (not a deferment) otherwise I can see many clubs getting into serious financial trouble or going bust.
posted by JohnFFC - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 7:13 PM JohnFFC, Deferment. That was the word I was trying to remember!
posted by Broadsword (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 7:54 PM If this current situation doesn't lead to footballers not being payed stupid amounts of dosh I don't know what will. As for the Juve players least said the better
posted by David (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 8:27 PM Broadsword - happy to be your dictionary!
posted by JohnFFC - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 8:46 PM I certainly understand the feelings but I think that there is an alternative view that we all earn as much as we can in whatever profession and if top flight football wasn't such a worldwide pull from people like us then TV companies would be less interested and clubs, players and agents would earn less.

You also have to remember that we all live to (or above) our menas and I doubt that would be any different for footballers to be honest. If you can afford it then take the cut to help others but if you can't and you have a family (however extended)to support then perhaps it's not possible.

In addition, many pepople make charitable donations without shouting about it so calling someone out without full knowledge of their situation is never a good idea.

Just trying to add some balance ;0)

posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 7:26 AM Apparently the Juventus players have agreed not to have a pay increase for four months. How good of them.! As far as I'm concerned all these players " earning" silly money need to start living in the real world. This includes the likes of " celebrity's". the "Linikers" of this world. Just let it sink in MST over a MILLION pounds a year for fronting a football show- value for money I think not!
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 10:08 AM John, I really don't care one iota what other people earn mate. If I was in their shoes I would likely want the same amount and I doubt that you wouldn't either....
posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 12:37 PM Mst. Your argument may (or may not) be valid in ordinary circumstances. In the current situation why should footballers be protected from the problems everyone else is facing? If Barcelona can do it, the others can
posted by Broadsword (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 1:10 PM Not really the point mate. Would I accept it yes, but the point is such an obscene amount shouldn't be on offer- We disagreed over Brexit and we will no doubt do not the same here- " You are awful but I like you"
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 1:50 PM You're both missing the point - just because you haven't heard or read it in the press, does not mean it isn't happening...
posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:48 PM Perhaps it's you who are missing the point. Just imagine that if the clubs didn't have such a massive wage bill they just might be able to reduce the cost of watching football.
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 4:31 PM John, they could do that anyway. Gate receipts in the top two divisions would not cover 10% of players wages and where do you think the money would go if the players didn't get it? Agents? Clubs?

Whichever way you look at it, the money will find it's way back to the players and the only way to stop it, in my opinion, is higher taxation to players, agents and clubs. +75% perhaps, like it was in the '60s and 70's however, if we did that players would simmply go overseas as tax exiles (like pop stars used to), our Premier League would end up like the Scottish Premiership and the lower leagues would collapse.

Just my opinion. It's good to discuss it of course but in real life, when it comes to salary, it's every man for hiimself, regardless of the industry in which we find ourselves and the better we are at our jobs, (usually) the better we are paid...





posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 5:26 PM Yes mate enjoy the exchanges, quite rightly people have different views on what is a prickly subject- but I will NEVER consider a guy like Ozil to be worth over 300k a week. No wonder he's " happy" to stay at Arsenal, what other club would be daft enough to offer him that sort of money? Whilst I understand that gate receipts are small at the lower leagues, the premier league grounds are usually full so I'm sure having to pay their players less could leave room for the Folk who support them through thick and thin to a reduction in the price of admission. Probably done this debate to death- wonder what will be the next topic we can get our teeth into ?
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 7:53 PM MST - I think you are missing the point and you are wrong. If you read my original post you will see that it is not happening. In fact, clubs are now using the government wage support scheme which is really taking the piss.
posted by Broadsword (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 9:41 PM

I remember the smell more than anything and the fact that cooked burgers were still pink!!! What I miss more than anything coming in off the M4 these days is that evocative smell as you walked through Bishop's Park - Hmmm Westlers, stale booze and fags. Who needs fresh air LOL.

On the shopping note I read today that someone in North Wales was fined £30 for buying non-essential items and a corner shop was ordered to take Easter eggs off the shelf - clearly with the decline in shoplifting, speeding and burglaries the police don't have enough to do :0((((

What on earth is this country coming to and how can you you take away someone's freedom of choice in a free society - sad days indeed....
posted by MST (Moderator) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 3:10 PM I miss going through Bishop's Park and hearing the band playing close to the cafe,yes,i go back a very long way.
posted by brian longhurst. (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 4:33 PM I remember the hot chestnut seller yelling Chestnuts! Chestnuts! For some reason at night games!!
posted by Tony R (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 4:44 PM I remember having a Westler hamburger after a game from a stand once, it was pink with bits of bone in it the only flavour was the copious amount of watered down tomato sauce I had smothered all over it. I'm sure if you dropped it it would have bounced right back up at you like a super ball.
posted by Hammersmith Gorilla (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 4:46 PM What else would a hot chestnut seller yell apart from chestnuts ?
posted by Tim nice but dim (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 4:53 PM There was always a little ice cream cart at the gates adj to the bandstand area in the 50s. was told he had had his pitch since the 1930s
posted by KUNYE (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 5:02 PM Remember the sellers shouting "Pea-nuts!!! Peanuts for sixpence" I guess just in case anyone confused them with Chestnuts.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 5:04 PM MW - I remember “Peanuts! Roasted! tanner a bag.........” Percy Daltons only
posted by Keetch54 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 5:26 PM Ah the old peanut seller ! Peanuts tanner a bag !!! Peanut shells everywhere anybody remember him
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:03 PM Bloody ridiculous If the shops open then buy what yuo llke
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:08 PM Santiis l believer the cart was always ouside that gate in summer that ice cream best I ever tasted believe the family lived near the sweet shop near the ground
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:42 PM Must have been peanuts then. I was drinking in the Kings Arms with the Beard!
posted by Tony R (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 7:01 PM Further do you remember when collecting the Saturday papers to see other results when the cry in London was Star,News,Standard all todays results.We used to get all three perhaps for 2 old pence each or there abouts.
posted by brian longhurst. (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 7:22 PM I remember the old man with an enamel cup singing under the bridge, on the walk from Putney Bridge into Bishops Park, just by the steps up to the road on Putney Bridge, then just beyond him the badge and rosette sellers at the entrance to Bishops Park. Ah, those were the days, memories.
posted by LTS (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 11:39 PM I remember the peanut man coming thro’ the crowd,the lady in the ice cream van,and Micky Beard aah,once spent a session with him up to Blackpool in a compartment train,the sea air sobered me up(we won 1-0)and I remember a little skirmish with him and others on St Albans station after a friendly.Great days .COYW.
posted by Pete Mackay (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 7:58 AM The Micky Beard memories were always fun if not hilarious. I always remember when we got to Old Trafford and Mick decided to go in the Stretford End on his own. He caused havoc. He just stood there bellowing Fulham at the top of his voice and the Reds scattered. Shows you what you can do after 10 pints of Guinness with RamRod chasers!
posted by Tony R (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 9:38 AM Mind you, I think Harry the dog of the Milwall running on his own from one end of Villa Park to take on the whole of the Holt (home ) End on his own . After diving in, fists flying , he’s rescued by the police who felt sorry for him and returned him to the Milwall faithful rather than eject him.
posted by Keetch54 - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 10:27 AM Santilis had the big ice cream parlour on North End Road for many years. My dad said there was some rumour about him being involved in a Football Pools scam. Claimed that’s how they got there money, don’t know how true, but they didn’t appear to have been charged with anything. Rumour and gossip added to o the picture in those days. Then again, still does.
posted by Realistic (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 10:33 AM Was not the ice cream shop in north end road called scalas !! santilli had a small factory in everington street by the rec!joe santill had a hollywood tache like dick dastardly ,the whole family worked the vans going round streets in summer ,the ice cream best ever tasted any were in the world.
posted by the real arch bishop (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 11:55 AM Bishop you are absolutely right. I was thinking about that and the lightbulb lit. Was just going to correct but you beat me too it. Well remembered, it took me a while.
posted by Realistic (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 2:22 PM Pies at FFC used to be hot on the outside & frozen in the middle, used to buy a bovril to thaw them out ! Tea came with traces of coffee & bovril in it, coffee with tea & bovril & bovril with tea & coffee. Hamburgers usually gave you the squits, found out why eventually.... Then AlF came in & it improved. Think the great plague started in the Hammersmith end gents toilet, perhaps that was where the food was stored between games ?
posted by Ollie (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:45 PM

What would they check them with? We don’t even have enough test kits for the front line doctors and nurses. I guess they could check their temperature but that’s not really conclusive and where would they quarantine them!!? But I agree with your point that surely there should be some elementary checks on people coming into the country!
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 11:15 AM If we have no ability to check people who come threw our Airports a part from bring our residents home. They should be closed like everything else
posted by DMK (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 12:10 PM The government have made a right pigs ear of this virus .
posted by Matt (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 2:46 PM Anybody seen any ppe kits , cos sure as hell the nhs haven’t !
posted by Norm (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 4:55 PM There is an under lining thing about it all. More laws being passed. Hiding behind this virus scare. There was a full page about it in the Times Saturday. Giving the government more unprecedented powers.
posted by GEEZER (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:35 PM I've ordered an away PPE kit.
posted by Ollie (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:47 PM I've ordered an away PPE kit. All the home kits have sold out
posted by Ollie (Guest) - Wednesday 01st April 2020, 3:48 PM

Amusing story in today's paper. A man and his wife were having breakfast in the kitchen and to cheer his wife up said I'll get a map of the world and pin it on the wall.You throw a dart at it and wherever it lands we will take a holiday there once the virus has gone. Problem seems to be what to pack in your suitcase when your spending your holiday behind the fridge.
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 1:44 PM

Good post! I hope all missing posters, including OWEN, are safe and well and it is only the absence of freal ootball that they are not on here!
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 9:28 AM I'm still here big boy. I was fatting my farmers, so couldn't get on as often.
posted by Owen (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 9:47 AM Marbella White on parade from a dismal and scary Spain
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 10:27 AM There are some new posters including me!
posted by 007 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 11:04 AM Not convinced that is THE Owen...
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 11:13 AM It's not Owen you can tell because this poster has signed in as a 'guest' and the real Owen is registered like I am.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 12:04 PM I'm still around at the moment, and I do look at the our site on a daily basis, but apart from covid-19, there is not much more to talk about, which is a crying shame.
posted by A C (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 12:51 PM I do hope OWEN is okay. Not convinced by this imposter! A week or so ago, there was some concern about his wearabouts but he posted and then dropped off radar again. So I’ll take that as a good sign
posted by David (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 12:57 PM Got a call from the club tdy asking if I was ok or needed any help - I don’t but was well received
posted by Keetch54 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 1:02 PM Keetchy, I hear that really old people get called more than once. MST was called 5 times yesterday and 4 times today.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 5:06 PM Has ffc phoned you five times Charlotte being the young lady
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:30 PM Well played
posted by Ipitombi (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:57 PM

Jim Hicks
Jim Hicks Jim Hicks Jim Hicks Jim Hicks
Jim Hicks Jim Hicks Jim Hicks Jim Hicks
Jim Hicks Jim Hicks

posted by Chris of Jokes - Monday 30th March 2020, 4:47 PM As the song goes , Horne was a colourful character !
posted by Paul (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 5:50 PM Don't agree with Gilroy'sinclusion. He was pretty good tho didn't score too many goals.
posted by 007 - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 11:06 AM Used to like the Greek fella we had past his best Bit annoying to opposing teams ! What a player when he was younger
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:35 PM

I doubt it to be honest. Most of which is on Netflix is either made by and for Netflix or is a series from terestial TV or a particular genre of film.

Geezer would love it as there is loads of good film noir and foreign material ;0). Don't be put off though as that accounbts for about 5% and there are literally thousands of series' and films. I recommend the following:

After Life
The English Game
The Stranger
Safe
Ozark
Narcos

But there are many, many, many, may more that I have watched and enjoyed and mostly Netfix originals....
posted by MST (Moderator) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:52 PM oh and inside Bill's brain an absolute must watch three part documentary about Bill Gates.
posted by MST (Moderator) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:55 PM He’s right on this John - loads of content, but particularly good for box-sets (UK/US/EU) there’s something for everyone in a huge catalogue covering fictional/factual. Like I said yesterday, just sign up for the free trial
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 3:17 PM Cheers Flap- on my way
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 3:29 PM Just watched the first two episodes of Breaking Bad. Seems quite good, quite a few more to watch so should keep me busy during isolation!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Monday 30th March 2020, 3:59 PM you might find BBC do have Goons on one of thier stations.
posted by brian longhurst. (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 4:48 PM John, further to your original question - if you go to Audible.co.uk you can get a free 30 trial. It's an Amazon company and will therefore be able to access all the Goons shows. This in conjunction with Netflix will ensure you are not bored during lock down!!
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 5:17 PM john theres a knocking at the door min.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 6:09 PM haha get it Geezer - just doing my bit for the community!!
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 6:39 PM Once again thanks Flap. Look forward to hearing Neddy Seegoon again
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 8:08 PM Looks like " tales of old Dartmoor" is available on u tube Geezer. Don't come much better than that episode
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 8:14 PM Also Round the Horn - available on 4 Comedy - Rambling Sid Rumpo, Julian and Sandy, and Dame Celia Molestangler and ageing juvenile Dinky Huberback
posted by Keetch54 - Monday 30th March 2020, 8:19 PM Journey in to space. Workers play time. And i still listen to the Archers.
posted by GEEZER (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:51 PM

As sad as this epidemic is,on our eventual return to normality we may see a much better way of doing things : :no more ridiculous salaries, agents fees and transfers, and of course more realistic gate prices.YES we will survive as a club.
posted by KUNYE (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 1:37 PM Always thought the gravy train Would run out rather not this way maybey sanity will return now
posted by Len (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:31 PM Jack Grealish. He should stop lecturing people about staying in and look in the mirror and remind himself apart from his hair cut, how not to be a stupid prat!! If he wants to go further perhaps he can follow examples of a few well paid sportspeople and donate some of his salaries towards various good causes setup for Covid 19!! It’s a shame the top end of football (premier league and all the well paid players) are not doing more financially for the lower league clubs and the needed people.
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:41 PM Should he be done for drink driving? Surely running away from an accident should be punished as heavy as drink driving otherwise, everyone who been drinking and have an accident will run away! What about Villa - they sacked McCormack because he struggled to climb his 4ft fence and was late for training. Surely, they should sack Grealish!
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:46 PM Grealish - Good footballer, pity about his IQ !
posted by Scrooge (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 3:32 PM Scrooge, if you think the arrogance of a man can be overcome then think you have another thing coming .. Have you not been to cottage lately? It was obvious,morning come morning leave how this one would go . Joker !
posted by the real arch bishop (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 4:03 PM Can't quite understand your answer. Sadly stopped going to the cottage after 50 years due to a lousy illness which doesn't get better
posted by Scrooge (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 4:34 PM Louse, or to use the plural Lice , are little bleeders .
posted by Pete (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 5:53 PM Think our friend is referring to a long term illness not an infestation did not need your input. Into the spelling. Does not bother the majority on this board Feel a bit sad for our grammar police at times
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 10:19 AM Think the majority of fans know grealish is a Pratt. Only the villa fans will defend his actions on and off the field personally I would not touch him with a barge pole But money talks in world of fooball
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 10:23 AM Leaving the scene of an accident surely a. Criminal offence. But as we’ve seen time and again in this country One rule for one one for another
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 10:26 AM To len and scrooge, the dopey post is not mine, its my clone who has wiped the slime of his body and appeared again ,top post what started he topic is mine , ok with that .
posted by the real arch bishop (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 12:05 PM Apologies for that !!!
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 31st March 2020, 6:50 PM

VDS. Cohen. Strong. Mullery. Roger Brown. Bobby Moore. George Best. Gera. Zamora. Saha. Cairney
posted by Tony R (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 10:25 AM Haggaland excuse spelling grammar police
posted by Len (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 10:50 AM My team would be Schwarzer Parker Goma Hangeland Cohen Haynes Mullery Malbranque Boamorta Duff Saha
posted by Jim (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 10:55 AM Did I see national league have finished their season !,
posted by Len (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 10:55 AM My team would be Edwin Van Der Sar, Steve Finnan, Brede Hangeland, Tony Gale, Rufus Brevett, Stead Malbranque, Sean Davies, Danny Murphy, George Best, Bobby Zamora, Gordon Davies
posted by JohnFFC - Monday 30th March 2020, 11:42 AM Dont forget moreline de haag metchick,large, chennil, marlet, cut some slack guys.
posted by Albertrn (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 11:51 AM Couldn’t choose, but when I look at your selections, we’ve had some pretty good players down the years.
posted by Realistic (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 11:51 AM van der sa , cohen , langley , mullery , gale , moore , barrett , jezzard , haynes , macdonald , stevens ,,,,, very hard not 2b pick leggett
posted by moreline (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 12:33 PM sh-t forgot about george and rodney , this is impossible
posted by moreline (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 12:34 PM Just coming back,blinking tuff,certainly is whether you have gone for 10/20/30/40/50/60plus seasons also we all have favourites. Looking at others post must say would i change mitro for gorden davies.left out best as was such a short time with us.liked to have found a space for rodney marsh,just loved this one off player also a space for duff,again loved what he gave us plus steed malbranque.Will settle taking out clarke and put in Duff.
posted by brian longhurst. (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 1:47 PM Cairney! Your having a laugh!! Johnny Haynes not in there
posted by Chief (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 1:55 PM

One idea being suggested is that all the clubs refuse to sell any of their players to other English clubs. This would hopefully be the end of " stupid " money being paid out. If the Greedy sods can't settle on 100 k a week - this still seems a lot to me - let them join the M Mouse leagues in China ( masks provided). REALY do hope some sense of reality emerges from all this.
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:08 PM

Think this seasons over/void probably,tough on Leeds,West Brom Result for Norwich,Watford. We lose any hope of playing in the premier next season although nothing to fear in this league.
posted by Chief (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 7:59 PM As each day goes by the thoughts of football are slowly slipping from the mind, as other things are now much more important. When I heard on the TV last night that this could continue up until September, or even later, and I have a terrible feeling that this seasons tables will be scrubbed out, and if and when the next season starts, we will have to start all over again. Keep as safe as you can everybody.
posted by Malden Mick (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 9:15 AM Much as I hate the idea of two teams being added to prem and no relegation pretty sure we would Walk this league next season
posted by Len (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 2:36 PM

Talking of TV ,as I am no longer paying for Sky sport, can anybody tell me if Netflix is worth getting and what do you get for your money? Ta very much.
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 5:46 PM Netflix is for sure worth getting - excellent content. Best thing to do is to get a free trial
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 6:14 PM I think that Netflix is far better value than Sky to be honest (although I have both). Just finished watching “the English game”, a Netflix original series. Dramatised the story of the beautiful game moving from the upper to the working classes. Really worth a watch. On a separate note John, I have paused Sky Sports but still have the channels working.
posted by MST (Moderator) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 6:18 PM Netflix is great. Better than amazon prime tele in my opinion. But if football is what you want, prime have all the good football documentaries. And will be getting the spurs one.
posted by David (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 6:34 PM I only watch it. The films are the best you can get.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 7:28 PM Also on more four. Just watching before i die . And BBC FOUR Swedish Noir. The swedes make the best police programmes by far. Along with Norway Finland Denmark. The French Belgium Icelandic also. They all have sub titles. They all make our programmers with a lot to learn and do to catch up. They are very professional and you the viewer have to use you brains to work the plots out.
posted by GEEZER (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 7:43 PM Thanks for the info guys. Think you've made up my mind for me.
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 8:05 PM Just to add, that if you get the top package (about £13 per month), then you get UHD content and four log ins so other people in your family can also view Netflix on your account in different parts of the country. As long as no more than four poeple try to log in at one time, it works fine - my three sons all use my account at different addresses. How good is that for £13 per months ;0)?
posted by MST (Moderator) - Monday 30th March 2020, 6:49 AM people already thinking how do i pay council tax on 80 % so netflix and amazon are last in the queue,with repeated films etc,.
posted by Albert rn (Guest) - Monday 30th March 2020, 11:48 AM

Yes i am. Driving a dustcart. Also the wife is working.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 11:16 AM Lol geez :D))...and the stand?
posted by Marbella White 1 - Sunday 29th March 2020, 11:54 AM sorry MW just read the post to quick.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 12:00 PM

Needs all the clubs to get together and refuse to use them
posted by DMK (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 6:11 PM DMK, i get it, but think of the families of the footballers and their sisters. Parasites we call agents are there living in there.
posted by John (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 6:12 PM We are not talking about playing on the cheap, but need a bit of common sense here. You know like NOT giving Mesut Ozil 300 grand a week, this guy only plays when he feels up to it , then gets the hump when he's taken of after being anonymous for most of the game. Or David - de hay. Not being able to live on about 12 million a year threatens to leave so they up his money by a few more grand. Still seen him let a couple of shots dribble through his legs into the net.This madness has to end !
posted by Scrooge (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 6:43 PM Wasn’t David Haye a boxer ?
posted by David (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 8:41 PM I have a solution. Clubs look after players outside of football. They pay 30% of wages into a pension. Players have a support service to help with housing, schools etc. That is where agents get in. I know one and he even orders the shopping. Players have no worldly experience and need help, So cut the agents out. Clubs won’t do it as they make too money from agents.
posted by Phil (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 9:11 PM I stand corrected, should read David de Gea
posted by Scrooge (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 9:14 PM Love " players have no worldly experience and need help" Then about time they learnt to live in the real world
posted by John (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 9:19 PM Robots dont live in the real world. Just like some of the 18 to 25 year olds
posted by dAN (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 11:19 AM Getting fed up seeing them posing in their new Lamborghini, well the last one was two years old
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 11:34 AM Blimey! Theyre starting younger than ever - two years old?
posted by Little Ern (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 12:31 PM

Charlotte’s not an idiot!!
posted by Impartial (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 2:20 PM Sorry??. What do you mean by that
posted by Len (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 4:00 PM

How do Mexicans feel about Trumps wall ? They’ll get over it .
posted by Paul (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 2:21 PM She gave me an Australian kiss. It's the same as a French kiss, but down under.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Friday 27th March 2020, 2:25 PM I have been off work for so long, I have developed a Scouse accent!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Friday 27th March 2020, 2:28 PM Got a Chinese meal delivered last night, when I opened the door the delivery driver said, "isolate, isolate". Not at all I said, I only ordered the meal 20 minutes ago!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Friday 27th March 2020, 2:30 PM I've just got a job playing the triangle in a Jamaican orchestra. Apparently I just have to stand there an 'ting.
posted by A Swad (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 3:56 PM Sitting in my garden having a beer at 19 59 last night and started singing if you hate Brentford clap your hands. And the whole street and most of the country joined in.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 6:17 PM Loved it!!
posted by Marbellawhite1 (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 6:44 PM I was bored to day and i got talking to a big black spider. And he told me he was a web designer.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 8:20 PM I asked my wife to put on the naughty nurses uniform I had bought for a bit of fun. She got it on, we kissed and she asked me why I had my coat on. I said I will be driving you. I am not that sort of girl she said, how dare you hawk me off. We’re going to Tesco I said, it’s NHS priority hour.
posted by Phil (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 12:02 AM Next door neighbour just been rushed into hospital struggling to breathe, they put him on one of those new Dyson ventilators and now he’s picking up nicely
posted by MST (Moderator) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 8:49 AM Our neighbours cat s**t in our garden . So my wife told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence . I don’t see what that solved , now we’ve got cat s**t in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel .
posted by Paul (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 9:12 AM We are 11 days into self isolation and it's really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this.Ive thought very hard of how I can make her happy. I've even considered letting her come in but rules are rules.
posted by Chris of Jokes - Saturday 28th March 2020, 9:20 AM Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But, smoking bacon will cure it.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Saturday 28th March 2020, 10:02 AM Clocks go forward tonight, don't forget. You don't want to be late for the living room tomorrow!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Saturday 28th March 2020, 4:37 PM Are my testicles black? A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?"
posted by Chris of Jokes - Saturday 28th March 2020, 8:51 PM

Ooops no you didn't it's still there -sorry finger trouble!!
posted by Marbella White 1 - Friday 27th March 2020, 9:31 AM Man with toilet rolls seeking woman with hand sanitizer , looking for good clean fun !
posted by Tinder (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 10:17 AM What did Always Ultra sanitary pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Friday 27th March 2020, 11:20 AM On a recent trip to Japan by Donald Trump somebody mentioned Pearl Harbour, Trump denied ever meeting her,
posted by John (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 12:08 PM

With China now experiencing the second wave and we have not even started on the first wave. Wimbledon Tennis will be called off imminently thats July. The earliest football could restart optimistically would be September?
posted by Tony R (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 8:52 AM Mexico is expecting it's first wave any second ;D))
posted by Marbella White 1 - Friday 27th March 2020, 9:27 AM WONDER WHAT PERCENTAGE of deaths are over 70 in italy and spain? what does it leave after deduction , like wise in britain. Sad thing is they have escaped flue and pneumonia for this winter just leaving us and get hit with this bloody virus , so sad.
posted by pointless (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 2:35 PM Average age in Italy of decease is 79, but some would have died anyway. The stats are meaningless
posted by Phil (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 12:04 AM You’re right about meaningless stats, Phil, as 100% would have died eventually, but not quite yet
posted by Rm (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 2:27 PM

Sorry that should be season 1, episode 10, 53 minutes in
posted by Fred (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 10:59 PM Again, sorry, I meant start from episode 2, 20 minutes in and then again later.
posted by Fred (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 8:46 AM Dickhead troll, the first reference is correct. Please yourself whether you view it or not
posted by Fred (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 11:06 PM

The long and short and the tall
posted by bigboy4650 (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 8:16 PM

Hopefully when this all over the days of the obscene amount that these players are payed will come to an end, surely the likes of Messi Bale and co could " survive" on half pay. Who knows the guy on the terrace may find its possible to watch his team for a more reasonable price !!
posted by John (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 6:43 PM Personally I don't get too stressed about what other people earn - it doesn't bother me. Barcelona are owned by the state of Catelonia so I doubt they are short of a few quid either.

I'm more concerned about the future of my own family and those of my sales team if they cannot earn in these very worrying times.....


posted by MST (Moderator) - Friday 27th March 2020, 6:43 AM Can it be right that many footballers " earn" more in a day than a nurse does in a year, then moan that they get tired having to pay twice a week- I do feel for them ,!!!!
posted by Dave (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 9:33 AM It’s not just footballers .
posted by Paul (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 10:08 AM Couldn't agree more Paul. Perhaps when the virus is finally over ITV might consider paying Ant & Dec 40 million quid is a tad generous' and is it realy necessary to pay Lewis Hamilton a million quid every time he gets behind the wheel. And as for Gary Linikers wages !!!!!!!
posted by Dave (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 12:16 PM

dont forget that sl-g linekar , tax dodgin p-ncecould help
posted by moreline (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:56 PM Got a feeling that the chancellor will clobber these people when this is over
posted by John (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 6:49 PM Add to that list McCartney ~ Jagger ~ Stewart whose mass wealth is estimated at one billion have not read of any of these geriatric has beens contributing.
posted by KUNYE (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 9:01 AM Maybe they don’t want the publicity! Would you.?
posted by Paul (Guest) - Friday 27th March 2020, 10:10 AM In an ideal world all the extremely rich could make a gesture. I would but we are all made differently and as stated lots do without publicity !
posted by Len (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 4:06 PM

Yes Len remember it well ,I was there that day I’m sure if it had been one of the so called big teams the match would have been replayed.
posted by Jim (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 9:13 AM Definatley one rule for one no one will ever convince me in our leagues the big boys get preference over the rest
posted by Len (Guest) - Saturday 28th March 2020, 10:42 AM

Talking of which, just when Philip Schofield comes out - he’s gotta stay in.
posted by Simon (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:54 PM Had me fooled .
posted by Holly W (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:57 PM On YouTube.
posted by Old man like Ron (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 3:00 PM minder
posted by moreline (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:58 PM

Clap for carers i read ,at 8 pm , unfortunate choice of words.Why are supermarkets still not got several items in stock ? no tins no long life milk, not much bread, no bog rolls no tissues etc, so were are they , well done all those corner shops they have it all or most of it and not ripping of customers so when it ends keep the little shop in mind.
posted by pointless (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 1:47 PM Little corner shops and such were added to the list of essential retailers which is excellent news.
posted by David (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:03 PM Essential retail shops like hardware ! Really , need those nails and screws ASAP , wtf .
posted by Ian (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:59 PM You'd be surprised what items Wilkinsons stock
posted by John (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 3:35 PM

and your point is.....
posted by Adam (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 9:51 AM Yep totally agree its looking like a scam, 8,000 die in the uk every year from the flu, and flu is now recorded as a covid condition as its a respiratory condition. The government's own website has downgraded it https://www.gov.uk/guidance/high-consequence-infectious-diseases-hcid
posted by DixieD (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 9:51 AM Yeah they just made the excel centre into a hospital for a laugh. It’s all just a big scam. You muppets
posted by Kier (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 10:12 AM Who you calling a muppet ?
posted by Kermit (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 10:52 AM You wouldn't be taking it so lightly, if like me, your wife is quite poorly in hospital, after being tested for the virus. We now have to wait for 48 long hours for the results. Please don't try to belittle Covid19, it's a deadly serious killer. Just do us all a favour and STAY INDOORS.
posted by LTS (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 11:50 AM Wise words my friend
posted by Dave (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 12:12 PM And as a PS do hope your lovely wife make a full recovery
posted by Dave (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 12:15 PM Ditto LTS. Wishing your wife a speedy recovery. Most of us are taking this very seriously and doing our bit.
posted by David (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 1:18 PM Please do your own research even top scientist are saying this is being blown out of proportion, im not saying its not nice if you get it, but closing the country down is ridiculous, how many people will die by having there operations cancelled
posted by DixieD (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 1:23 PM Done my own research. Spoken to doctors in the front line. People are dying. Not enough beds or ventilators and decisions are being made to preserve life. There can be no over reaction when trying to make sure thousands of people don’t die. We are also nowhere near the peak. Follow the rules and stay inside.
posted by Savid (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 1:30 PM Rules don’t say stay inside !
posted by Ed (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:05 PM Firstly I am not the John started this post. The post is ridiculous. We can’t afford anymore compliancy! Apart from China, the world have been extremely complacent on this virus thinking it will be just another localised pandemic like SARs and Ebola. This is a worldwide issue. We are only at the beginning of the curve and if we are not careful to stop the spread, majority of the population could get it. No other flu or previous pandemics have ever had such impact or as contiguous. If we get to that stage, we would be talking millions of deaths!
posted by John (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:16 PM It would interesting to know how much better qualified Dixie D is to do his own research than all those scientists and doctors all over the world who are advising that we are in grave peril.
posted by Adam (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:43 PM Firstly I am not the John started this post. The post is ridiculous. We can’t afford anymore compliancy! Apart from China, the world have been extremely complacent on this virus thinking it will be just another localised pandemic like SARs and Ebola. This is a worldwide issue. We are only at the beginning of the curve and if we are not careful to stop the spread, majority of the population could get it. No other flu or previous pandemics have ever had such impact or as contiguous. If we get to that stage, we would be talking millions of deaths!
posted by John (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:51 PM Flu pandemic 1918 .
posted by Mal (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 2:56 PM https://off-guardian.org/2020/03/24/12-experts-questioning-the-coronavirus-panic/?fbclid=IwAR1H1nlsbzXg4eOFgPdCC40mEbmjRJ6BjyRse3dsmEAjWha_IPCGYdortp0&__cf_chl_jschl_tk__=76fa0d25bbd99524beac3f8e4c94c9d6e1adb57d-1585171330-0-AdivuEH0YJS49JqYT0JbfT4TEsbVv1fjB59ivs6FoXR8f7fd9djF4thM5MjfgLGX57slVaUD3FJebjWgceWfZL9BEhk1ja0pkdnWsataBamKd492d_4foru299uy-GMIVqToUdh_q4S5dZtX23O9P3iE9a_L-sWmPPt0sXoq9dwgZPJASDh7aPUsdIiykxOeXKrz4pG7jgwe_ocqsgM-yBnqEZwggkwkTfVfbL5qz7hwQ1rCbO43xdMXPJ1BNNUdguHmkx-59qXTcba8UYOo-oo7gDv4t4hcvZiwSbo8CN9yQSuXrSK0s2loD7RYUKiIzHxEEBjRj7Dhatw-IwdAK9Kq5RdlAM44epfBuTjluziN-SuVSvBofZ-Pa4TwsNVs3TzKqOvM6ETgilTcaru8ePvRt_1gT2kiXWoJlcfxxJxkj58h-J2MwsEHQZiV6F16yw Take a look for yourselves
posted by DixieD (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 3:42 PM Flu does not appear to be so contagioius though .
posted by Len (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:02 PM Just my opinion but don’t think we will see a levelling out for two weeks Must say people taking more precautions in general let’s hope the Chinese are not returning to narmality to soon
posted by Len (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:09 PM Dixied I’m sure you can find lots of interesting info on the Internet ...but can I just suggest you come and visit Kings college hospital in London and see ‘the scam ‘ yourself ...rather than pick up info from the internet .
posted by Rightback (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:09 PM Im not saying nothing is happening, just to me it seems a massive overreaction, time will tell and i will eat humble pie if wrong.but im sure in a way youd hope im right as it means less people will lose there lives. It would also help if they actually said what the person died from as opposed to they died and had caronavirus, im sure they had nymerous other infections in thre blood. From what i can see if your not in great health and you get this its not good, but the same can be said with alot of other conditions
posted by DixieD (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:36 PM Netflix: My Secret Terrius.. Chinese movie about 53 minutes in.....
posted by Fred (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 10:56 PM

Don’t stand so close to me .
posted by Plod (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 8:00 AM Sometimes when we touch...
posted by Dan Hill (Guest) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 9:01 AM

Nice one MST. Was it all your own work or did you crib from someone else?
posted by bigboy4650 (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 10:17 PM No not me, I’m not creative enough ;0). Just one of those doing the rounds that I thought was worth sharing...
posted by MST (Moderator) - Thursday 26th March 2020, 5:51 AM

Man City and Utd pr departments had been going overdrive patting themselves on the back cos they donated 50k each to the food bank. Then pep shows them both up.
posted by Kier (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 11:43 PM

Do you think Parker can change the team using Facetime?? I can't see any teams playing again until June at the earliest! China are about two months ahead of us and they did a great job containing the virus, they have no plans to restart their season.
posted by John (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 1:37 PM That's the whole point. As far as I know they can still train (with restrictions obviously) but without the interference of "must win" matches so loads of time to try things out.
posted by Old Bloke (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 1:47 PM

I always say that if you can happily WRITE something offensive and personal about someone BUT you wouldn't dare to say that to their face, then you are a rather pathetic coward.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 10:07 AM Precisely Marbella. You will be pleased to know it is a beautiful day in London. Wonderful sunshine but most of us are indoors but at least our Bridge Club are now playing online.
posted by bigboy4650 (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 10:15 AM Its ok charlie has the virus so he is not immune.
posted by pointless (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 11:13 AM Its pants here bb :D(
posted by Marbella White 1 - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 11:29 AM Quite correct, except that you can’t help feel that a lot of the recent posts have been done so to purposely to create a reaction rather than to start a decent thread
posted by Flapjack (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 11:37 AM Devils advocate and really don't want to start an argument. But this is a bit one sided. From my perspective, many of you who are currently taking the moral high ground have been guilty of writing comments that have been seen as offensive, racist and homophobic. Even if you do not think they are, maybe consider the people reading your comments who come here for football news. And rather than apologise or back down when confronted, usually threats ands bullying follow. So please practice what you preach as I'm sure much of the horrible commentary that has been aimed at me in the past, would not be said in public or in the workplace - or at least I hope it wouldn't. But you are all right, there are bigger fish to fry in the world right now.
posted by David (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 12:32 PM Just when you thought the do gooder that is David had gone in hibernation, he re appears, zzzzzzzzzz .
posted by Ted (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 1:28 PM Gonna threaten to knock me out again?
posted by David (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 2:05 PM Have always thought of MST as being the " Godfather" of this site, with Owen as his number one sidekick. Probably why I don't slag them off as some do. After all who wants to find a horses head on your pillow!
posted by Dave (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 2:14 PM Let's all be nice to each other, there are far more important things happening. I will stick to being upbeat and will continue to put rubbish jokes on here to lighten the mood. Come on peeps, you know it makes sense!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 2:28 PM 100% agree CoJ. My girlfriend came out of the shower the other day and said "I shaved my pussy, you know what that means? I said "Yeah, that'll mean the drain is clogged again"(sighs)
posted by Marbella White 1 - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 2:42 PM Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor Castle with Jennifer-14
posted by Chris of Jokes - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 3:47 PM David , don’t make up things to make yourself look good , you are an irratable do gooder whose not welcome on here
posted by Ted (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 4:11 PM Come on lads let’s all get along .
posted by Tim (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 4:13 PM Tim , couldn’t agree more , but some people just won’t let it go , come on you whites !
posted by Ted (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 4:37 PM I asked my wife to put on her nurses uniform today and she said "why, are you feeling horny"? I said no, we need some bread....
posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 4:46 PM Loving that MST made me chortle!! :D))))
posted by Marbella White 1 - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 5:41 PM Ted, you seemed to have missed the point of this thread. It's about getting along with one another and you start spouting your normal aggressive rubbish and name calling. And you did, you said you wanted to shake my hand then knock me out (it was deleted by admin). So as you said, don't make things up to make yourself look good.
posted by David (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 5:44 PM As a suggestion David why don't you and Ted get together on Facepuke and sort out your differeneces in private. Just a thought.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:11 PM David , give it a rest , everyone on here can see what you are , coming on here spouting rubbish, pushing for an argument, I'm not gonna rise to it , I'd rather talk about Fulham fc , come on you whites
posted by Ted (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:21 PM Marb, rather talk ffc with fellow ffc fans but this do gooder David keeps coming on here calling me this and that , why , I dont know , he has even made comments about my son !! I'm off now , might come back later in the year , come on you super whites !
posted by Ted (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:27 PM Ted, I haven’t called you anything (read my posts properly). I was engaging in this thread and you came on here calling me names. You brought your son into after giving it all that to Trevor so again get your story straight. You are clearly being the aggressor and making yourself look silly. That’s the last I have to say to you.
posted by David (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:32 PM Nice one MST!,,,like lt made me laugh
posted by Len (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:44 PM

Nah, there's only one Owen and his preminent position as the Fulhamweb scribe is not under any threat.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 7:53 PM Poles apart - OWEN is Mr Nice Guy, not a bad word about anybody/anything. Arizonan is a self opinionated prick who bores the life out of any subject
posted by Rob (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 10:41 PM Why are you so reluctant to consider challenging views as long as PC even if they clash with your own?
posted by Keetch54 - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 10:49 PM Because most of the time he reels off a whole load of s*** designed to rub people up the wrong way. Don’t ever go out for a pint with him, you wouldn’t get a word in edge ways
posted by Rob (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 11:19 PM Is that you Mr.Rob Clark? Didn't I have to give you a spanking once before?
posted by The Arizonan - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 12:28 AM Why can't people on this site disagree with each other without the need for judging, name calling and/or insults?

Just because some people are more articulate than others, does not make them a threat nor vice versa.

Be nice people, we live in testing times but we share a common goal in the football team we follow.
posted by MST (Moderator) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 7:12 AM Said it before if you don’t like what’s being said just scroll throughout go on one of the other sites don’t get aggressive or a smart ass and let’s be Fair if you want football talk it ain’t going to happen there’s no football to talk about apart from the usual parker out brigade not happy that he’s took us to third in the league and could well lead us into the perm
posted by Len (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:56 PM

Be nice to hear Jeff Stelling yell" there's been a goal at Craven Cottage" Providing it's gone to the home side !
posted by Dave (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 5:53 PM You forgot to include a squad full of players that apparently can’t think for themselves on the pitch and need constant guidance and direction from their manager, who as it seems from the majority of opinion, is sorely lacking in his ability to lead.
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:11 PM Remind me of our position in the league - was 3rd last time I looked FFS.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:21 PM MW1 it’s a metaphor mate - keep up ;0))
posted by MST (Moderator) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:26 PM Not you MST, I was referring to Cali's optimistic summing up of our current situation lol :))))
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:38 PM Still strictly metaphorical. Just trying to follow MSTs lead, incorporating popular opinions on this board, both about Fulham and the world. BTW, ecstatic about our position in the table and more than satisfied with our manager
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:03 PM Which would put me in the minority on this board.
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:06 PM I had a Ford Metaphor once, lovely little runner. Yep, I am going stir crazy! Apologies for the same stupid humour revamped!
posted by Chris of Jokes - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:18 PM

I remember way back in the day Tom got into trouble for a joke that went "Fulham have just signed two Chinese players, We Wun Wonce and How Long Since". My old man didn't think it all that funny.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 8:03 PM My old uncle used to tell me he wasn’t liked by the players, what is black and white and goes up and down, always taking the p... out of the club silly really as he owned it.
posted by My Uncle John (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 8:18 PM Also, all that cobblers about Haynes being the first £100 a week footballer - largely supported by the extra £100 a week paid by the Directors like Trinder out of their own pocket. otherwise off to Spurs ,” You lucky people.......,,”
posted by Keetch54 - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 10:56 PM It was not Spurs as I remember it was an Italian club I think it was the same club Gerry Hitchins played for. Billy
posted by billybee (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 10:05 AM Apparantly tosh went into trinders office. Just after Haynes got his big pay rise tosh demanded the same trinder replied John a better player. Than you not in summer tosh replied. Read it somewhere sounds about right !!
posted by Len (Guest) - Sunday 29th March 2020, 9:04 PM

Still getting my paper delivered, haven't heard that they are not being printed!
posted by Dave (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 12:32 PM Poor old Hints.Golf courses now closing, won't be able to carefully place his balls on the tee
posted by Dave. (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:04 PM All newspapers available !
posted by Massa (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:14 PM Daily lier? Someone who likes a rest everyday.
posted by Paul (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:30 PM Thanks must be just my shop .
posted by the real arch bishop (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:31 PM Hints lives in Australia ;0)
posted by MST (Moderator) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:59 PM Somebody has to .
posted by Tim (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:28 PM Fore!
posted by Hints (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:01 PM Shouldn’t that be fire !
posted by Sam (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 5:02 AM No Sam the floods put them out! We are waiting on to the next biblical event, a plague of locusts maybe?
posted by Hints - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 8:58 AM Just my local shop ,,no papers for 3 weeks,so of to post office to get one walking distance, thats my workout for the day.
posted by the real arch bishop (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 11:12 AM

Your last sentance aptly illustrates my point.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:03 PM And mine
posted by Old Bloke (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:05 PM A good little sheep you are. The scariest words you could ever hear “ Hi, I’m from the government. I’m here to help”. Quite a stretch to compare climate change to corona virus. You can develop a new economy going renewable as you transition. This could lead to economic destruction
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 5:16 PM The STASI are on the rise
posted by dAN (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 6:48 PM Really?, Really, I'd say far more scary is to hear "I have the results of your Covid 19 test and I'm afraid it's positive.We couldn't contain the virus because of some ideological funadamentalists who refuse to follow all government advice out of blind irrational fear. Never mind you're still free"
posted by Old Bloke (Guest) - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 6:55 AM

Think they are doing their best in what is a nightmare scenario to try and keep the death rate to a minimum. Faced with many who don't give a toss about anyone but themselves. Just for the record what would your plans be to get us out of this mind blowing situation ?
posted by John (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 8:29 PM Ringfence the aged and infirm. Treat the remainder as potential flu cases. Put a two week time limit on all draconian measures (else the economy will cease to function), get financial relief delivered not talked about. Encourage appropriate behaviour and stigmatise those who flaunt basic precautions but dont legislate against it. Supermarkets to implement three buys of same items. Stay at home if you're ill unless you need emergency treatment. Mobilise military field hospitals. All simple and straightforward. The government reaction exemplifies group-think and ignores the practicalities and the assessment and acceptance of individual risk.
posted by The Arizonan - Monday 23rd March 2020, 9:05 PM Another exapmple of government incompetence (UK and abroad). Why are health workers, just off a sixteen hour day and facing another in eight hours time, left to trawl around empty supermarkets for something to eat? Why are they using bin bags as protective covers? Who protects them while they protect you?
posted by The Arizonan - Monday 23rd March 2020, 9:12 PM The 4th reich civil unrest, Ari you are one hell of an arsole at times with your doom gloom and I know it all senario,take a deep breath rationalise and calm down, in these uncharted waters the leaders i am sure doing their best with the knowledge they have to hand.
posted by gaz (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 10:07 PM They closed the stable door after the horse had bolted . Soon as they new about the Virus should of closed our borders. We’re letting people in for ages afterwards , and not even checking them. And as for the people over the weekend have the human race got what they deserve .we have took our planet for granted
posted by Big Red (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 10:23 PM Not doom and gloom Gaz, just pointing out some facts. Try the following and compare it to mortality rates of flu and primary pneumonia "International research suggests the virus has a mortality rate of almost 15 per cent among those over the age of 80, 8 per cent for those in their 70s, and 3.6 per cent for those in their 60s. This compares with rates of less than 0.5 per cent in those below the age of 50". And, maybe I am actually holier than thou; I'm most certainly better informed and trained to think for myself.
posted by The Arizonan - Monday 23rd March 2020, 10:26 PM Knew it was serious when they postponed all football matches,and when pubs were shut that was a really serious move. Can’t watch football or even talk about it in the pub. In all seriousness think the government are doing a sterling job,time will tell Death toll rising no beds available at Kingston hospital,as for the figures not much testing going on until it’s serious. Going stir crazy already only been a few days!
posted by Chief (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 11:24 PM First you make jokes about the Coronavirus, and then stand on your soap box preaching to everybody. Arizonan you really are a prize c^^^ (putting it politely)
posted by Rob (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 12:33 AM So your quite happy with draconian measures then despite the stats quoted?
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:05 AM In reality, John, the governments are trying to “flatten the curve”. Has nothing to do with the death rates, which appear consistent but will drop the more people that are tested,it has all to do with keeping the hospitals from being overrun in a “spike” scenario. A noble idea most would agree. Problem though, when you flatten the curve, you extend the problem for months. I wish I could answer your question. I would say human life is paramount. That being said, With social order decaying more rapidly the longer this continues, the closer to the precipice we will become. You all may say rampant hyperbole. When people start going hungry, which will be soon, you’ll no longer think that. So the question is which human lives are paramount. All? Some? A few? Not an easy answer. Freedom or tyranny? Should be easier
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:07 AM Cal, Why will people go hungry,?we are being told time after time by both the government and the food providers that there is plenty of food in the chain. Just stop these F------g idiots plundering everything in sight.. The behaviour of people who refuse to do their bit only makes a nightmare scenario even worse.
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:24 AM Now, now, deffo not the time or the place for name calling and slagging off. Everyone is entitled to their view whether you agree, or disagree. Capisce?
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:34 AM Forget about what the government says, forget about the World health Organisation, every expert on Pandemics almost every doctor I've heard interviewed, the Chief medical Officer, listen to Arizonan, he seems to know best what we should all do. The rest of the world will die but Fulham fans will be OK - aren't we lucky to have the benefit of such well qualified advice!
posted by Old Bloke (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 10:56 AM Capisce? New signing MW? I had a Ford Capisce years ago, lovely little runner! :)
posted by Chris of Jokes - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 11:20 AM I once grew a bean it tasted lovely and was a great runner
posted by Marbella White 1 - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 11:58 AM Presume you ate the bean not the car !
posted by Dave. (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 12:39 PM Arizonian - not trying to pick a fight, just interested as to why your attitude has changed so much and seems to be in line with mine last week that you were very against - maybe I misunderstood but I thought you were pro exposure and herd immunity and were also very against flu comparisons to the point where you were quite rude about it to me.
posted by David (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 12:45 PM Capisce, sounds a bit fishy to me .
posted by Ted (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 1:18 PM Ari. Please stop talking rubbish by comparing the state of the situation to nineteen thirties Germany. It's very quiet where I live and as yet haven't heard of people being lined up against the wall and shot because the are " the wrong religion"
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 2:25 PM Too many Johns. John, I have no idea why foodstuffs are in short supply. Hoarders can only hoard so much and the impact of changes to frequency of grocery shopping must wash out after supply logistics catch up. Cattle and chickens continue to be processed, crops continue to grow and cows get milked. It takes time to change the items on delivery to supermarkets but meat and veg should be plentiful. Hopefully the supply chain, particularly in distribution, will rebalance very quickly.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 3:50 PM Old bloke. Other than sarcasm have you got anything useful to say?
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 3:52 PM Another John. The dictatorial tone of the various powers that be should be of concern to all but if you feel comfortable behind that authoritarian shield well good for you. The language used is not that of education and persuasion but that of thinly veiled threats, in the UK and here in America, that I find very disturbing. Ditto the "emergency" powers with a two year life and no sunset clause. Freedom frittered away is very hard to regain.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:01 PM David, I'm rude to a lot of people mate, all part of the rough and tumble. Nothing personal. My position hasn't changed. We're getting the exposure for herd immunity given that best guesses from statisticians is that anywhere up to ten million and beyond have already had the virus and recovered from it. What does annoy me is the attitudes of governments. The US government is gridlocked by partisan politics and the UK government is long on rhetoric and punishment but woefully short on any remedial action at the tactical level. Any half decent project manager would have had the myriad of shortcomings sorted by now. Seems to me that a lot of posters, not you, accept everything thrown at them without querying it but have no opinion to the statistics I put up which are compiled by the very same authorities and which call the governments actions into question. "Prepare for the lockdown to cintinue for four months" mouthed one politician. Society will have come to a complete standstill long before that nonensical date.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:19 PM You hear stories about folks buying bunkers with the intention of holing up for months in situations of crisis like what we have now. I wonder if any of these people are actually following through with their original plans? The truth is nobody knows how they would really react in a situation as we have now. This country's last big emergency was WW2 and it was a different time and a much bigger threat. Boris is doing his best in an almost impossible situation. Yes' he sits on the fence on what to do, do we go to work, who works, who doesn't etc. Churchill would have an impossible task to sort this mess out in these times. My missus couldn't get a packet of loo rolls sat, so me and my lad volunteered to go wizz around in the car to seek some out. I saw a gentleman walk out of my nearest B&M, i walked into the store with a quicker step than normal. £3.99 a pack of 12, 3 free and andrex!!! How many can i buy? Up to 6 sir' I pick up 3 packs and apologise to the checkout for buying 3 packets. In my mind, i don't need to worry about loo rolls for months on end. My lad actually barated me, he was fuming. 'Dad' you have gone against your principles, 'you should have walked out with 1 pack off loo rolls. I did feel guilty and i still do. The point is as humans, we don't actually know how we will react in situations of crisis like these. I go out to buy some Aspen fuel for my mower and petrol cutters. The poor guy is still operating but he has sent all staff home. Should he still be working? My point is that we are British and we do the best we can in a bizzar and strange situation. We can look at China and yes' they have the crisis under control but they use the big stick on their population. We are not like them and we wouldn't like to be like them. We will come through this stronger than ever. In this God-forsaken world we live in now, maybe we are blessed, and just maybe there are still some good people that will hold up our fragile society, 'we know there is! Good intentions, peace, and goodwill, starts at this club of ours 'Fulham' i know it does, and so so all of you guys!!!!!!
posted by OWEN (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:23 PM Don’t really want to get involved in this arguement apart from as I see it I some basic stuff parecetomali toilet rolls although far from satisfactory you can get something to eat in the supermarkets. In my one there are paper towels available if desperate Also as I say meat as well think the press are not helping the situation. With there doom and gloom regarding. Food shortages. And presume ari you are not in the uk and really not in a position to offer an opinion On the situation Without observing for yourself
posted by Len (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 4:53 PM John agree about the hoarders. Despicable behavior. Was speaking in the context of financial means. The poor and many in the middle class will run out of money very soon. At the least, their retirements and savings will be decimated. With governments picking and choosing who gets to work and who can’t, gonna be hard to maintain social order. Just saying there has to be a better balance in addressing this crisis
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 5:35 PM Sadly we don't live in an " ideal world" if we did I'm sure we wouldn't have idiots attacking ambulance staff or the police being spat at. We are all being asked to do things we would rather not do to help get us over this crises. Nobody yet knows how it will end but it's been a stark reminder that there are plenty of scumbags living amongst us.
posted by John (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 5:49 PM Len, the situation here is exactly the same as in the UK with individual states, cities and towns in lockdown and I am observing all that at first hand. Both governments are stumbling along and the media are stirring the pot in the worst possible way. Both Trump and Johnson are buggered if they do and buggered if they don't. Hobsons choice, but while the countries and governments, state and local, obsess with statistics and blitz analogies, the simple things to make life possible are left by the wayside. As I posted earlier, a half decent project manager would have sorted the day-to-day problems by now.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 8:25 PM Owen, if you're into hoarding I'd stay away from watch shops.
posted by The Arizonan - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 8:27 PM Absolutely John. That’s what I’m afraid of. Owen, I’m pretty sure hoarding is allowed in instances of excess missus requests. Problem is one day it’s loo rolls, the next day it’s.........?
posted by Californian - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 9:19 PM I am hearing you guys load and clear. My mess-up buying 3 packs of loo rolls, it won't happen again. I just got caught up in the hysteria of my people at home moaning about empty shops etc. It was just a spur of the moment thing by me and i don't condone grabbing all the foodstuff etc. England is built on good manners, waiting your turn in queues and so forth. I have a collectors mind at heart, but my missus says that i hoard stuff. I like my mowers and if i had more room, i would buy a few more. Ari' if you are still looking at watches? I would recommend a very nice English company called 'Geckota' Guy who started company grew it starting from ebay and the business is just growing and growing. His name is Jonathan Quinn and he and team are really good. They use the best watch movements they can get their hands on and i have 2 nice watches from them. One has a ETA 2824 swiss movement in it and it is a well put together watch. Geckota will not be able to supply ETA movements for much longer because of supplies drying up, but they also use the best Japanese movements in some watches. If any watch connesuers doubt the quality of jap watch movements, you can look at the basic Seiko 5's which are still beating away 20-30 years on now. Most automatic watches i would say are not 100 per cent accurate to the milli-second not even Rolex. Automatics are my thing in watches and you guys have got me started. The Nubeo watches are also very interesting and they are passionate about shapes and curves of watches. If you like traditional, the Geckota people like to roll back the years with traditional shapes, both are very good...
posted by OWEN (Guest) - Tuesday 24th March 2020, 10:25 PM Owen, Google Mig Aircraft Clock AChS 1. It's a fascinating knock off of an old Jaeger movement with many functions and very strongly built. Cheaper than a new wristy and much more fun. Buy a stand or get a piece of 1/8" ally and cut the hole and park it somehere prominent. Everyone will want to play with it.
posted by The Arizonan - Wednesday 25th March 2020, 12:44 AM

What a day that was, we need a few more!! CD's Winner cross or sublime goal? don't really matter hit the net & little FFC beat the mighty Juventus
posted by Will (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 5:36 PM

Do the people working extra time making toilet rolls get paid overtime or do they get time in loo
posted by Dave (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 1:45 PM I don't think it's possible for me to become a sniper. Not by a long shot.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 1:57 PM MST. Have you managed to postpone your monthly sy sport payment yet ?
posted by Dave (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 2:55 PM Or even your Sky sport payments
posted by Dave (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 2:56 PM Apparently China has just released the names of the first three C-19 victims; Sum Ting Wong, Ho Lee Fok and Yiew Dy Soon
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:14 PM Ari...
posted by David (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:20 PM John Travolta tested negative today for corona virus , turned out it was Saturday night fever !
posted by Tony m (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 5:03 PM I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough !
posted by Massa (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 5:53 PM The sun definitely doesn’t shine out of your a**e .
posted by Dave (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 6:02 PM Dave no not yet. Can’t get through - think they’ve sent everyone home...
posted by MST (Moderator) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 6:25 PM Try www.sky.com/pausesports good luck mate
posted by Dave (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 6:57 PM Thanks Dave I’ll give it a try.
posted by MST (Moderator) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 8:45 PM Good news. Jehovah's witnesses are working from home.
posted by Chris of Jokes - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 9:30 PM Thank Christ for that !
posted by Pete (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 9:40 PM Done, thanks Dave
posted by MST (Moderator) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 10:06 PM I went to the supermarket today to get some toilet paper and was told they had none so I took a dump in aisle 3.. turns out they did have some after all.
posted by Hints (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 3:46 AM I have a dump every morning at 6am like clockwork, trouble is my alarm clock doesn’t go off until 6-30am .
posted by Matt (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 7:19 AM That’s a sheet story if ever I heard one !
posted by Mr Crapper (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 7:23 AM MST well done mate, much better to have the money in our pocket than theirs !
posted by Dave (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 9:50 AM Pocket , in slang terms , is in your sky rocket !
posted by Chas (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 11:51 AM Think it's just" Sky" Bruv !
posted by Dave (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 11:58 AM Nope its sky rocket
posted by Chas (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 12:44 PM Yep, Sky Rocket.

"Sky" doesn't rhyme with pocket which, is pretty much the point of "rhyming" slang ;0)))


posted by MST (Moderator) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 1:17 PM Often the rhyming bit is left out, further to obscure the meaning from the uninitiated. for example a suit is almost always a whistle I hardly ever hear the flute bit. Know what I mean me ol' china?
posted by Old Bloke (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 1:38 PM I would normally pop out of the cat, and along the frog for a bit of exercise, but I guess I will just have to use the apple instead.
posted by Chris of Jokes - Monday 23rd March 2020, 1:54 PM You old timers are living in the past. Everything is shortened now A few examples : used to be Frog and toad for road now Kerniit will do : instead of syrup of fig for a wig it's just syrup : though only the more mature of us would moan if someone left the window open and they were sitting in a George Raft. Geezer could come into his own here,
posted by Dave (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 2:06 PM Said to the wife last night "Fancy a Donald?" "Nah" said she "I've got a headache"
posted by Marbella White 1 - Monday 23rd March 2020, 2:52 PM Silly berk.
posted by The Arizonan - Monday 23rd March 2020, 3:00 PM My favourite is ar5e known as aris which, as fars aI know comes form:

Aris = Aristotle
Aristottle = bottle
bottle = bottle & glass
bottle & glass = ar5e

I'd love to know if there are any just as or more complex ;0)....


posted by MST (Moderator) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 3:37 PM Dunno about more complex but just as interesting "Scarper" as in let's get out of here quick comes from Scapa Flo = let's go.
posted by Marbella White 1 - Monday 23rd March 2020, 4:00 PM Just me being thick asnever realised that before! lol :))))
posted by Marbella White 1 - Monday 23rd March 2020, 4:02 PM Another one for the old uns. He's got a painful boil on his Gregory:: neck as in Gregory Peck !
posted by Dave (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 5:36 PM I dunno if the North End Road market is still open. May mate has a stall there selling ladies lingerie, though he lets on he's a diesel fitter (Fat arse mother? No worries luv, these'll fit 'er).
posted by The Arizonan - Monday 23rd March 2020, 7:35 PM farmer Giles = piles. Now farmers Chalfont St Giles = piles Now Chalfonts. Duke of Argyles = piles Duke of Kent = rent. Now Duker Richard the third = turd ( Chelsea.) Now Dick the Sh*t
posted by Gaz (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 7:43 PM

I think we need to see FFP revamped to recognise the current and ongoing financial situation else we might be in deep doo doo as Cali has been pointing out for many months.
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 3:08 PM

And I bet you dont wash your hands after every bin and sanitise! Worst places now are credit card readers and petrol pumps!
posted by Tony R (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 9:06 AM Personally keeping away from people as much as I can bit difficult in busy house all working with kids and public three have mild symptoms and are all confined to another premise and although as I say showing symptoms of mild flu. Just think we have to survive. For about 4 to six weeks and it will decrease if not think there will have to be a major rethink. But I’m not watching every thing corona rated to much scaremongering stay safe AND DONT PANIC as Wilson would. Say !!! By the way they are all getting through it
posted by Len (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 9:33 AM Geezer statistically even if we end up with 500,000 deaths, the likely we know someone impacted directly (1 in 140 chance) is still relatively slim. Hopefully we won’t have half million deaths. You have to look at the numbers against the number of beds and more importantly ventilator we have in the country. The head of NHS confirmed currently we have 8-9000 and will have around 12,000 in 7-8weeks time. The panic is once we ran out of the ventilators (ie just 10000) anyone who reached the critical stage will not have a machine to keep them alive!! Just think if you are 12000 in the queue (reaching the critical stage), you will kit have a machine to keep you alive!! China solved this by building hundreds of thousands of beds overnight. Italy almost is running out of beds. The situation is extremely SERIOUS!!! But don’t panic!
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 10:12 AM Tony R. Nobody but nobody knows how it started how it spreads and how to cure it. If they knew all the answers to all the questions. We would be at football and down the pub .PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO HEAR SAY.
posted by JOE (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 10:32 AM Your only talking stats. etc etc etc. And if we have untold beds it will go away. dont think so.
posted by geezer (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 10:36 AM One manufacturer said he could make a 1000 in a day , times that by other. Outlets swapping over to vent making should have qute a few. In a couple of weeks see the French are to close borders wth uk thought all borders closed weeks ago. Any way presume tunnel been closed for at least a week should have been people travelling across europe entering uk not good enough !
posted by Len (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 10:37 AM Not practical your idea you would have to have a van full of water following the dust cart Could be a very time consuming exercise Think best bet would be to thourlry disinfect. Before and after shift !, And to be fair contact not a problem can’t remember last time I cuddled. My dustman !,
posted by Len (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 12:39 PM Agree on cards and machines and petrol pumps anything public touch. Don’t forget phones computers iPads. Even door handles. Bannisters. Shower screens taps. Surfaces. Seems a lot but to be fair not much else to do for the next month or two Hopefully warmer weather will help !,
posted by Len (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 12:45 PM It's been a while since I've seen a post from you, good to see your name on the board again geezer. I think the panic may be that the papers tell us we might be locked up indoors for months, I hope you brought enough beer to last.
posted by Baz (Moderator) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 1:24 PM I bought myself a packet of plastic gloves and I put them on before I go out, and then throw them away on my return home. I don't know whether that does any good, but I feel safer doing it. Does anyone else do the same ?
posted by Alan B (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 1:54 PM Haven't done up till now, but seems a sensible idea
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 2:49 PM Spoke to a couple of doctor friends in the front line and one said they are already having to choose which patients to give ventilators to and beds are almost full. It’s a lot worse than those of us not on the front line think.
posted by David (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 3:50 PM The media worldwide might for once provide facts and not opinion but I guess that's too much to ask for. I don't agree with most of what's going on but it is what it is. Failing to protect the front line is one reason amomg many that the whole NHS has to be reformed in favour of the front line practioners and patients. Take care David and best wishes to you and your loved ones.
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 9:04 PM @Len we haven't closed schools here in OZ yet so twice a day I wipe down door handles and well used surfaces like fridge doors etc. not sure if it does any good but you cannot catch it through skin so the only way of contracting it from those surfaces is if you touch your nose, eyes or mouth immediately after.
posted by Hints (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 3:53 AM Daughter lives in Perth go there occasoinay speak often as you say schools open no lock down yet food scarce though mind you every time I go there. Something seems a scarce bananas one visit. Last one advocados not a big deal compared to this daughter says there’ a feeling the extreme heat is aiding going into winter now we will see ! Plus side city’s so far apart. Think her nearest city is almost in another country !!!
posted by Len (Guest) - Monday 23rd March 2020, 8:14 AM

SHOULD OF COURSE BE FEAR EATS THE SOUL!
posted by Rich of Cambridge (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 6:15 AM It might eat the brain.
posted by peterjeremy - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 8:17 AM I wonder if the subsidised restaurants and bars in both houses of parliament are still open.
posted by dAN (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 8:18 AM

I havent seen that we are all going to get it and most of us will die. Just be sensible and follow the guidelines and be comforted that where it kicked off in China it is starting to get under control. When you are told to stay at home do so , you are not at risk if you dont interreact
posted by Keetch54 - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 12:48 AM Sorry-interact
posted by Keetch54 - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 12:53 AM Have a look at this, it might help and stop watching/listening to the news 24/7 it's not good for your health.. BusinessInsiderScience/videos/647978236025281/UzpfSTEwMDAwMDAyMjM4NTA2OTozMTIyMDMyMTAxMTQwODM5/?epa=SEARCH_BOX
posted by Hints - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:00 AM Honestly AC, it's enough to frighten the most stout hearted so you're absolutely not alone. Yes, most people will catch it and most people will recover. A small percentage of us die as a result but in reality the death rate is very similar to a bad strain of flu, one which is not anticipated by the flu shot as sometimes happens. The advice given is particularly relevant to wrinklies like you and me which is why we need to protect ourselves. Minimize contact with the outside world and keep mentally and physically active as much as you can. Be sensible and practical and you, and hopefully the rest of us, will come through OK. Anyhyw AC, you must have experienced worse, you are after all a Southampton season ticket holder and and that's another frightener of the first order. Take it easy, be aware and you'll be OK.
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:18 AM Keetch, did you get home or are you still on spring break?
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:20 AM Hints, that link wont work. I would have cleaned it up but I'm not sure which of the videos you're referring to.
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:32 AM Sorry i got it from a FB page. :(
posted by Hints - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 6:56 AM Try this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOJqHPfG7pA
posted by Hints - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 7:25 AM With any luck, the deaths will be crowded in the West Bromwich and Leeds areas, and we will win the title and promotion.
posted by peterjeremy - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 8:20 AM Arizona, it was nice to read your reply, and of course others, and it seems that most of us feel that we are the same boat, and I will try to stop worrying too much. One thing Arizona, is that I have a season ticket at Brighton, not Southampton, but hey ho, whoever we support for now, and I don't support Brighton by the way, makes little difference, as football has almost been forgotten as somewhere to go every Saturday. We can almost think of that period as "the good old day" ! !
posted by A C (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 8:34 AM Peterjeremy. Pretty lousy post from you, we are talking about people like us if your happy to see them die, then there is something seriously wrong about you!
posted by Dave (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 10:38 AM Mr Jeremy , what a prize cnut you are .
posted by Ted (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 11:14 AM Mr Jeremy , what a prize cnut you are .
posted by Ted (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 11:14 AM Apparently Donald Trump quoted as saying" People are dying who have never dies before" Why am I not surprised?
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 11:17 AM Or even " died before"
posted by Jon (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 11:19 AM Ari - On the 8;00 flight out of Orlando direct to Gatwick tonight. Took seats available in economy which should be fun as I am 6 foot three and 19 stone. However would be prepared to stand the whole way to get home as Florida looks on point of lockdown. Thanks for asking ( Incidentally, 30 days supply of my pills here was cheapest at $625 if I had to buy them )
posted by Keetch54 - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 2:47 PM Those are mighty fancy pills. My wife's car is worth less than that. I'm 6'3" too so I feel your coming pain. Safe trip mate.
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 4:00 PM Its the legacy of a lifetime of debauchery .
posted by Keetch54 - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 7:14 PM As in Henry 8th
posted by John (Guest) - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 8:03 PM Keetchy, you'll find out tomorrow that de butchery is as empty as de bog roll isles. Buy a case of palm oil stuff and keep the market going.
posted by The Arizonan - Sunday 22nd March 2020, 9:09 PM